I'm a 45 year old woman living on an off-grid horse ranch in western Montana. I grew up in St. Louis, Missouri, where much of my family still lives. I met my husband, Dave, in Chicago, and lived a number of years there, while I was finishing my degree at North Central College, a small private college west of Chicago. I'd lost my heart to the Rocky Mountains when I discovered them in my 20's and had always wanted to live out west, surrounded by wild places. Somehow, Dave (despite being a software engineer and life-long city person) caught this dream, and in 2003 we left Chicago looking for a different kind of life. We found it on an off-grid horse ranch in Montana, where we've been ever since.
I've struggled all of my adult life with an illness they use to call Chronic Fatigue Syndrome (these days it is being referred to more commonly as myalgic encephalomyelitis, or ME). The leading theory is that it is caused by a number of viruses which hit your system all at the same time, overwhelming your body's defenses and working together to break down your ability to function. Some people are able to recover from this illness, but some never do.
The primary symptom of ME is extreme exhaustion which hits for no particular reason and is helped only slightly by rest. This often comes and goes, sometimes leaving me able to operate normally most of the day, only needing a few extra hours of sleep in the afternoons to make it through. Other times the fatigue is so extreme I am unable to hold my head up and cannot even sit in a chair. Those of us who have had this illness long term eventually experience new and more disabling symptoms, as it begins to do damage to various organ system. As this has happened to me, I have added problems with my nervous system, heart and lungs, as well as (sometimes extreme) cognitive deficits.
I've been legally disabled since my early 20's but for most of my life, I have managed to push my body to explore and experience the world anyway. I once lived in a remote mountain cabin with no electricity and no running water and a horse as my only transportation. I once ran an herbal business, making cosmetics and body products out of wild crafted herbs. When I moved to Montana, I begin raising Rocky Mountain Horses, and spent ten years selling some of the finest trail horses in the country. But a few years ago, all of this pushing finally caught up with me, and my health crashed to a level it had never descended to before. I've spent much of the past two years too weak to take care of myself, spending most of my time in bed on the couch, reading, coloring or simply sitting, as my body allowed. I am slowly clawing my way back from this abyss - trying to build up my strength again so that I can have a life again. However, it has been clear for a while that, while I can probably build back up to a more functional level, much of the damage which has been done is likely to be perminant. And that's where Kal comes in!
I'm now prone to spells (my doctors call them "crashes") where my energy suddenly goes from functional to completely gone with little warning. When this happens, I eventually pass out or at last fall to the floor. But before my body stops, my mind stops. I suddenly find myself unable to make sense of what is going on around me; knowing something is wrong but not able to understand what; often unable to even understand where or who I am. Because of this, I have stopped driving. I have stopped leaving the house alone for any reason. Even walking from the house to the barn alone is risky. For someone who use to spend months at a time wandering the wilderness with only my backpack and my dog for company, this has been devastating.
When it became clear that this particular symptom was a perminant addition to my illness, one of my doctors suggested that I look into getting a Service Dog. There are a half a dozen tasks a service dog could help me with, but one in particular has the potential to give me back a great deal of my lost freedom. A sensitive enough dog could sense when these crashes are coming on and be taught to warn me before they happen. With warning, I could take steps to be safe, call someone to come get me and not have to worry about being confused and lost somewhere away from home. I could find a comfortable place to sit or lay down before my body shut down completely and so not have to worry about being passed out in a dangerous place, alone. If worse came to worse, a Service Dog could be taught to stay with me and look out for me if I did collapse, and even to go for help if it was needed.
This is what Kal is being trained to do. This and more. I've spent the last two years resting, resting, resting - trying to give my body the time it needs to heal as much as it is able. As my energy slowly builds up and I become, again, able to do more than lay in bed or sit quietly on the couch, I have started dreaming about all the things I want to do. With his help - with him there to give me a margin of safety I just don't have alone anymore - I can live my life again! I can shop for my husband's birthday present without him having to be there with me while I do it. I can go to the Saturday Market and wander as long as I want, without having to be on anyone else's schedule. I can travel alone - fly off to visit my mother or spend a weekend with a friend. I can walk down to the barn or out to the pasture any time I want, and sit among my horses all day long. I can ride my horses again, or I can hike. I can, maybe someday soon, even take my horses camping into the wilderness alone, just me, my dog and my horses, and all the wild places of the world.
This is what I am dreaming of. I just need a little help to do it - something to mitigate the risk that dogs my steps now. And Kal is that help. The last time he was home from training we discovered that he can tell when I am going to crash and, with no training for this yet at all, he already takes it upon himself to warn me before it does. So now I am resting and waiting - waiting for May, when Kal will finish his training and come home for good, and I will have my partner, and my freedom, back.
I've struggled all of my adult life with an illness they use to call Chronic Fatigue Syndrome (these days it is being referred to more commonly as myalgic encephalomyelitis, or ME). The leading theory is that it is caused by a number of viruses which hit your system all at the same time, overwhelming your body's defenses and working together to break down your ability to function. Some people are able to recover from this illness, but some never do.
The primary symptom of ME is extreme exhaustion which hits for no particular reason and is helped only slightly by rest. This often comes and goes, sometimes leaving me able to operate normally most of the day, only needing a few extra hours of sleep in the afternoons to make it through. Other times the fatigue is so extreme I am unable to hold my head up and cannot even sit in a chair. Those of us who have had this illness long term eventually experience new and more disabling symptoms, as it begins to do damage to various organ system. As this has happened to me, I have added problems with my nervous system, heart and lungs, as well as (sometimes extreme) cognitive deficits.
I've been legally disabled since my early 20's but for most of my life, I have managed to push my body to explore and experience the world anyway. I once lived in a remote mountain cabin with no electricity and no running water and a horse as my only transportation. I once ran an herbal business, making cosmetics and body products out of wild crafted herbs. When I moved to Montana, I begin raising Rocky Mountain Horses, and spent ten years selling some of the finest trail horses in the country. But a few years ago, all of this pushing finally caught up with me, and my health crashed to a level it had never descended to before. I've spent much of the past two years too weak to take care of myself, spending most of my time in bed on the couch, reading, coloring or simply sitting, as my body allowed. I am slowly clawing my way back from this abyss - trying to build up my strength again so that I can have a life again. However, it has been clear for a while that, while I can probably build back up to a more functional level, much of the damage which has been done is likely to be perminant. And that's where Kal comes in!
I'm now prone to spells (my doctors call them "crashes") where my energy suddenly goes from functional to completely gone with little warning. When this happens, I eventually pass out or at last fall to the floor. But before my body stops, my mind stops. I suddenly find myself unable to make sense of what is going on around me; knowing something is wrong but not able to understand what; often unable to even understand where or who I am. Because of this, I have stopped driving. I have stopped leaving the house alone for any reason. Even walking from the house to the barn alone is risky. For someone who use to spend months at a time wandering the wilderness with only my backpack and my dog for company, this has been devastating.
When it became clear that this particular symptom was a perminant addition to my illness, one of my doctors suggested that I look into getting a Service Dog. There are a half a dozen tasks a service dog could help me with, but one in particular has the potential to give me back a great deal of my lost freedom. A sensitive enough dog could sense when these crashes are coming on and be taught to warn me before they happen. With warning, I could take steps to be safe, call someone to come get me and not have to worry about being confused and lost somewhere away from home. I could find a comfortable place to sit or lay down before my body shut down completely and so not have to worry about being passed out in a dangerous place, alone. If worse came to worse, a Service Dog could be taught to stay with me and look out for me if I did collapse, and even to go for help if it was needed.
This is what Kal is being trained to do. This and more. I've spent the last two years resting, resting, resting - trying to give my body the time it needs to heal as much as it is able. As my energy slowly builds up and I become, again, able to do more than lay in bed or sit quietly on the couch, I have started dreaming about all the things I want to do. With his help - with him there to give me a margin of safety I just don't have alone anymore - I can live my life again! I can shop for my husband's birthday present without him having to be there with me while I do it. I can go to the Saturday Market and wander as long as I want, without having to be on anyone else's schedule. I can travel alone - fly off to visit my mother or spend a weekend with a friend. I can walk down to the barn or out to the pasture any time I want, and sit among my horses all day long. I can ride my horses again, or I can hike. I can, maybe someday soon, even take my horses camping into the wilderness alone, just me, my dog and my horses, and all the wild places of the world.
This is what I am dreaming of. I just need a little help to do it - something to mitigate the risk that dogs my steps now. And Kal is that help. The last time he was home from training we discovered that he can tell when I am going to crash and, with no training for this yet at all, he already takes it upon himself to warn me before it does. So now I am resting and waiting - waiting for May, when Kal will finish his training and come home for good, and I will have my partner, and my freedom, back.
WAYS TO HELP:
- Donate money directly by going to gofundme.com/Kal or mailing a check to Kal's Service Dog Fund, Christie Goodman, PO Box 209, Frenchtown, MT 59834
- Pass our story on to others through email, Facebook or word-of-mouth and help us get the word out to a larger audience
- Post fliers s around town or pass them out at your church. Lots of stores have places to advertise things like this or will allow you to tape something up in their window. I can send you the flier we've already had made, all ready to go.
- Ask local businesses for donations of money or services (one local printer donated our first printing of fliers).
- Talk to local newspapers or magazines about running a story on us. Our story is interesting and local and the more we can get the word out the better!
- Throw a fundraiser for us! It can be anything! One person arranged for a local brew pub to do a fundraiser where they donated $0.50 of every beer sold on a certain night. Another person arranged to sell coffee in Kal's name, with all profits going to his fund. My illness makes it too difficult for me to take on this kind of project right now, so this kind of organizational help from others is a Godsend.